Performance Appraisal

Right after I came back from my sick leave yesterday and open my Outlook, I noticed that my beautiful supervisor reschedule the performance appraisal scheduled to be tomorrow - on today after lunch. I have not yet prepared for this. I am not wearing by best suit for today appraisal. At least I can wear something more professional, maybe?

There I came to the meeting room and shared with her, that basically we have no problem with what I wrote and scored to my self (I scored mostly 5 of 5 for my scores - is it too much? Am I over confidence for scoring my self as I wrote?). But basically she has no problem of the my performance, my scoring as well. Only several input for me of the small things, regarding to the Segregation of Duty checking and reporting base ( I told her that I don't have the access, but since this is as one of my responsibility, then I am the one should maintain it, no matter what - no matter how) I will.. I will..

Other things, why does it feels as common and so so compliment given to me?
Why does it feels that they are really my habits? Very ordinary? Less Excellent? Less outstanding?
Am I starting to feel numb of feeling something, which supposed to be something that I can be proud of?
Do I push my self too high?
Do I put too high standard for my self?
Why don't I feel happy while I'm supposed to be?
I think... I start to feel numb..

Hmmmmmmmppphhh.... Sigh.... Take a deep breath...
How much I can expect for my calibrated score?
How much should I expect my bonus to be?
How much should I expect my salary adjustment?

I am... Really not happy with my life now....
I'm not living the kind of live I think and imagine as.