Pengen!!!

Gue pengen ML!!!
bener2 pengen ML!!!
Really need to get laid..

Req: chi, 23-30, muscular, V to B or T only, large to extra large endowment
please register.. hahaha

Numb

As I keep thinking about my feeling this lately, I have found and confirming that I have lost my feelings. Not for all of them, but for sure I have lost my sense. I keep all my feelings inside without letting none knew it. Nor I have noone to share it with. I usually only talk to myself and have it burried inside. Yet believe something that people do not share.. But how much I have keep for my self? How much is my capacity to keep it all burried?

I just feel numb and begin to be tired of hiding my feelings.
I just feel that my volume is almost over.
I just feel that noone understand me
I just feel tired pretending that seems my life is the great one.
I just . . .
Cannot feel them all anymore.

I can't even find the words to describe what this is about:
Confuse + upset + depressed + demotivate + lonely + pretending + hiding = zero feelings

D -1 to Valentine Day

Happy Valentine Day!!!!

hope my closest persons will have a great Valentine day ever:

• my family, mom - dad - and my dearest siblings that I cannot be with now.
• my sister who have just finished the heavy tax courses and have almost A+ for all her scoring. hope she will celebrate the night as well.
• TJ who plan to have Valentine day with her Coon at Jogya for 4 days long.
• my BB who are in love crisis right now.. Mr A or Mr B? Feel that boy is not really you, eh?
• my beatiful prince.. oh.. I think I miss him and would like to see him..

Who will be my valentine? Will I go with my prince tomorrow night?

Anyhow...

HAPPY VALENTINE ALL..

Wish you will have a wonderfull Valentine

Beautiful Prince

Consierge sent me another invitation to Gnite for Sunday, Feb 8th. This one themed as G Tea Dance. Tea Dance? Maybe since the timing was not usual, 7 am which still consider as Tea time? But, indeed they have chosen such a great place at the Entitled - JW Mariott Mega Kuningan. Yet I have put on the guest list, but actually I kinda not really up to the event yet until suddenly something encourage me to came up to the party.

The crowd were still empty at the time, and until I moved up to the dance floor I noticed this beautiful guy, someone that really catch my attention that I could not stop looked at. There he was, sitting accoss me on the bar, and his beautiful, perfection made my heart beat so hard. I noticed him somewhere, I know .

Flash back - I tried so hard to remember
I opened my Manjam account and have a message pop up on my inbox. A very cute, handsome, and gorgeus guy it was. Named as Fayeprice, he is really have a figure of that prince for me. shortly, I replied and gave him my email. whoa.. and he did actually gave his YM as well as asked whether I have a plan to go out that night.

back to the story..

And there he was, across the bar in front of me, then Confirmed, he is the one I saw at Manjam. he is the beautiful prince I met. I stacked at him and cannot stood away my sight of him, suddenly he stands beside me on the dance floor, walked passed me by, then returned to his previous seat.

I took it for granted, passed him for twice until I lousyly decided to say hi to him

I guess I kinda know you
what? Can't hear you
I guess I kinda know you
(still cannot hear) then I write text on my mobile
You sent me a message on my Manjam, something with prince, right?
yeah!! oh, yes, nice to see you.

bla bla bla
(not actually bla bla bla because we had not even talked. I was too nervous sitting next to such a gorgeus guy like him. oh my.... so lousy me...

I made it clear point that I was that lousy. yah well..
I kept saying my self stupid for that.

But.. right after that night, I hot his email, I got his mobile and have some texts, some emails, and some standard conversation as well. The last thing I gave is the invitation to join me on the valentine party at musro by this valentine day...
Will he come? let's see

Creepy

The third night in the new boarding home, still have some problem to sleep. It was raining last night, quite much heavy, hence it was cold enough for me to sleep.

But something weird happened to me last night.
Something crawling on my right feet, rough enough to wake me up from my "deal sleep" and just jumped out of the bed, screamed, and whooing - Shoo-ing something I did not even see? But as I remembered it, it is more like grab? or crawl?
What was that?

It is kinda spooky actually for me that I don't really like and don't want to deals with "this" kind of things as you can imagine the worst. I really don't!

What was that?

New (Simpler) Way of Life

Friday night, after office hours, I decided to go to Plaza Indonesia. A friend dropped me in front of EX! They have made lots of changes on EX and PI. In simple words, you will no longer find any EX! On the previous bridge connecting PI and EX! Previously. Instead you will find this ultra - techno - avant garde design. In a short glimpse of, I decided to send a text to Bent, just in case he's at Celeb. 2 minutes after, he replied and asked to meet me at XXI and I did.

We talked a lot and he shared that he was about to take his 2nd housings (apartment for the 2nd time) somewhere at West Jakarta. And soon as he asked me whether I'd like to take the same apartment, here goes.. I got audited and I become really nude in front of him. I teld him my income and my life style. What I meant audited was really audited. He scratched out my incoming and the "normal" post I should have only.

The problem is I'm not normal. I spent 1/3 of my total salary for a rented room. Fancy enough to have me settled for the rest 13 months, Swipe my credit cards over here and there, then got confuse when I have to pay for the bill. Lots of things need to be changed in my life!!
I shocked!! Life changes means no more F words. No more Fancy - Fabulous - Fun costs to be spent anymore.

I thought quite or less enough to have me decided to move out from my fancy room to the non air con one. Skip the Air Con, skip the spaces to put all of my stuffs, and there I was move out to the new boarding house priced just half of the previous one.
Other things? No more credit card swapped. Cash only please!!
No more shopping for that "fancy" goody..
No more "fabulos' meal to have
No G nite at EX! On Saturday night ( I lost my mood to hang out and spent more cash that night)
Budget all of expenses and tight your belt..
Haha

Very well input from anyone I shared with regarding to this - so far. Bent even thanked me that I followed what he said. Pheew..
There will be lots of changes of my life. But I do hope that I will just the same Ethan as I am now. Just simpler, less fancy room I have, and .... More of savings commencing this month!! Hahahaha..

Some price need to be paid for the improvement, and I do hope that will be fabulous me then..